Copyright 2000 --- Robert Baer Jr. Collie Squadron -- "A Night At The Opera" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe are the property of Warner Bros. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form. This document may not bepublicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used fornot-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended toinfringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters the Computer Gila Monster, Ben Maddog, Abby Maddog, Vicki Maddog, Molly Maddog, Kyra, Linda Maddog, Uncle Buford and Roger Maddogare all Robert Baer Jr's creations, copyright 1997-1998. DJ is a creationof Jake Williams. Alethia is a creation of Kylen Miles. Cindy, Kristina and the Ocean Rovers are creations of Delran Phillips. Dawn is a creation of Dianne L. Boomerang is a creation of Robert Page. Collie Squadron -- "A Night At The Opera" The setting is the outside of the Civic Operahouse in Atlanta. Emerging in the front lobby are many people, all dressed elegantly. Among the crowd who have just finished watching "The Barber of Seville" are a large group of Road Rovers. There's the Maddog sisters, Molly, Linda, Abby and Vicki, as well as DJ, Hope, Alethia, Boomerang, Cindy, Kristina, Exile and Dawn. All of the ladies are dressed in very stunning evening gowns while the guys are wearing tuxedos. The Rovers gather in a corner of the lobby. LINDA (smiling): What a great performance! I LOVE THE OPERA! ALETHIA (nods): I agree, I'm so glad you Maddog sisters invited us to come! VICKI (smiles): You're welcome, Alethia! It's too bad most of the other Rovers were not able to join us. CINDY (nods): Yes, they really missed a grand show! Where did Otto and Samantha rush off to? ABBY: Their masters called them away MOLLY (smiles): That can happan when your owners are superheroes! LINDA (looks at Boomerang): Boomerang, what did you think of the opera? Boomerang is looking around the room, his head bobbing and dancing as if to music. LINDA (waves at Boomerang): BOOMERANG! HELLO? Linda walks over to him and notices he's wearing earphones attached to a walkman. Linda reaches over and turns it off. LINDA (angry): Boomerang! Were you listening to the opera at all? BOOMERANG (laughs): Sure I was! I heard the fat lady sing at the end of it! ABBY (points finger): You were listening to that music the entire time, weren't you? VICKI (angry): If you didn't like the opera, why did you come in the first place? BOOMERANG (smiles): Two reasons, ladies! One, to scope out you gourgeous babes, and two, because I couldn't come up a good excuse like some of the others did! LINDA (shocked): WHAT? BOOMERANG (nods): That's right! Word has gotten around about how snobby you three are! VICKI (growls): Snobby! We're snobby? ABBY (angry): I'll have you know that we invited every Road Rover to join us, the owner of this opera house is a client of ours and told us we could bring all of our friends here to see the preformance for free, and now ... LINDA (rolls eyes): Well, we didn't invite EVERYONE... BOOMERANG (smiles): So, who did you not invite, girls? ABBY (stuttering): Well.... VICKI (angry): We didn't invite the Gila Monster! That smelly old reptile! LINDA (nods): Yeah, he has no artistic taste at all! ABBY (laughs): He thinks high culture is yogart on the top shelf of the refrigerator! BOOMERANG (smiles): I rest my case.... HOPE (puts hand on Vicki's shoulder): I sure did enjoy the opera! ALETHIA (nods): And I did as well! EXILE (smiles): We Russians LOVE the opera! DJ (smiles): It was fine! MOLLY (nods): Yeah! Molly and DJ quickly conseal their walkman units behind their backs. One of Molly's CDs falls to the floor, but DJ quickly grabs it before any of the others see it. MOLLY (whipsers to DJ): Thanks! DJ (whispers back): You're welcome! DAWN (smiles): I know I had a good time, even thought those folks all sang in some funny foreign language all the time! KRISTINA (stomps foot); Hey, I couldn't find the popcorn stand during the intermission! I wanted some Milk Duds and soda! CINDY (laughs): Krissy, they don't serve those things at an opera! KRISTINA (looks around): Bummer! ALETHIA (turns to Molly): Molly, where's your dad and your brother Roger? MOLLY (smiles): Well, Roger and Kyra went to the movies and dad is out with Hunter's mom again, they make such a cute couple, don't you guys think? While many of the Road Rovers nod, Linda, Vicki and Abby frown. Suddenly, a cell phone rings. The four Maddog sisters each check their purses to see who's phone is ringing, it turns out to be Linda's, and she answers it. As she is speaking on the phone, Vicki and Abby stare out the front window. VICKI (looking): Where's the limosine we rented? ABBY (looking): It should've been here by now! VICKI (looks at watch): We promised everyone we'd take them to dinner after the opera. We have exactly thirty minutes to make it to Cape Sherry's in time! LINDA (growls as she puts her phone back in her purse): That was the limosine company, due to overbooking, they can't send our limosine down here for at least another hour! VICKI (shocked): What? ABBY (growls): We paid for that limo rental in advance! Did you threaten to sue them? LINDA (angry): Yes, and the man on the other end of this phone called me some rather unpleasant names! VICKI (growls): We'll go to his office tommorrow and bite him! ABBY (looks around): But what will we do now? Our guests are hungry, and so am I! LINDA (nods): Me too! ABBY (sadly): Too bad none of us are wearing are special collars, we could simply teleport ourselves to the restraunt! VICKI (whispers): Look, I'll go search the yellow pages for a restraunt near by, you two stall the others. I don't want this evening to turn into a disaster. Abby and Linda nod as Vicki walks to the front desk and requests a phone directory. ALETHIA (walks up behind Linda and Abby): Ladies, is something wrong? ABBY (stutters): Well, you see, Alethia.... you tell her, Linda! LINDA (stutters): Er.....it's like this..... DAWN (walks over): Abby, Linda, I'm getting hungry. Boomerang's about to chew on the drapes! LINDA (stutters): Well..... ALETHIA (looks around): I thought you ladies had rented a limo for the night, where is it? LINDA (sadly): That's what I needed to tell everyone. The limo rental place called as said they couldn't send it here for at least an hour. We're going to miss our dinner reservations and .... (starts crying) We wanted this to be a perfect evening for everyone .... and now this! MOLLY (walks over): Linda, you're crying. What's the matter? ABBY (sadly): Our ride's been delayed and we have no way to get to the restraunt. Vicki's looking in the ... VICKI (smiles): Good news everyone! There's a four star restraunt just a few blocks from here! We can go there for dinner and by the time we're finished the limo will be here! ALETHIA (pats Linda on the back): See? This night won't be a disaster after all! DAWN (nods): Yeah, what else could go wrong? Outside, the rumble of thunder is heard and a sudden downpour begins. ALETHIA (rolls eyes at Dawn): You were saying, Dawny? Dawn grins as the others soon gather around the Maddog sisters. Molly quickly explains the situation to the others. BOOMERANG (laughs): Hey, walking in the rain! I LOVE IT! LINDA (looks around): I wonder if this theater sells umbrellas? KRISTINA (sadly): I doubt it, they don't even sell Milk Duds and soda! CINDY (smiles): Well, we could wait until the rain lets up DJ (smiles): We could put these opera programs over our heads and make a run for it! ABBY (shakes head): That'd be so undignified! VICKI (sternly): We could all just wait here for an hour and go to dinner when the limo arrives! MOLLY (points to watch): But who knows when, or if, it'll get here! Besides, we're all hungry now. I say let's make a run for it! LINDA (stares at Molly): Are you crazy! Do we all look like we're dressed for running? DJ (smiles): I say we go for it! EXILE (smiles): Da! I agree with Comrade DJ! BOOMERANG (smiles): Works for me! VICKI (shocked): Well....what do the rest of you think? DAWN (smiles): I'm with DJ! ALETHIA (nods): I concur! KRISTINA (nods): A little rain won't hurt us! CINDY (reluctant): Well....alright.... I sure hope the rain doesn't ruin my evening gown... HOPE (nods): Looks like we're all in agreement! ABBY (nods): Ok, some of these buildings have canopies that shade the sidewalks. With a little luck, we can walk under them and maybe stay dry! All of the Rovers place their opera program on their heads and rush out into the rain. They follow Abby for several blocks, crossing busy intersections as they pass by. Finally they all stand under a canopy beneath a boarded up storefront as Abby checks her directions VICKI (shouts): Abby! Are you sure we're going in the right direction? ABBY (nods): Sure I am, we're on Wilson Street, right? LINDA (points at street sign): She's right! This is the corner of Wilson Street and Fourth Avenue. ABBY (shocked): Fourth Avenue? The restraunt is on Twelveth Avenue! LINDA (growls): We've been running the wrong way! VICKI (growls): Way to go, Abby! LINDA (angry): You're so stupid! ABBY (shakes fist); Who are you calling stupid? MOLLY (jumps between Abby and Linda): Stop this! This fighting isn't getting us anywhere! We just need to .... As Molly is speaking, the door of the abandoned storefront opens and out rush over a dozen gang members, all wearing matching jackets and carrying clubs. ONE GANG MEMBER (smiles): Well well well, looks like we just hit the jackpot! ANOTHER ONE (nods): Yeah! You guys headed for a halloween party, or do you always look like dogs? The gang members laugh as one of them grabs Molly by her hair and pulls it hard. MOLLY (angry): HEY! STOP THAT! DJ (steps in front of Molly): Leave her alone! GANG MEMBER (looks at the others): Hey, I think these are real dogs! ANOTHER ONE (points): Everybody get inside, NOW! The Rovers walk inside of the store front building, it's dimly lit and very chilly. ANOTHER ONE (points): Looks at the chicks! All decked out in fancy clothes and wearing jewelry! LEADER OF THE GANG (angry): Ok, enough talk! Ladies, we want your jewelry and your purses NOW or we start making doggie cutlets out of you! ALETHIA (whispers to Dawn): We're not exactly dressed for battle in these long evening gowns, are we? DAWN (whispers to Alethia): I wish Muzzle was here! GANG MEMBER (pushes Dawn): HEY, no talking! (turns to DJ): I see that look in your eyes, dogbreath! Don't even think about being a hero, or cutie pie here gets hurt, GOT IT? LEADER OF THE GANG (smiles as he stares at Abby): I think after we take all of their valuables, we should have ourselves a little party with these fine looking ladies! As the gang members grab the ladies' purses and jewelry. All of a sudden, the place is shaken by a loud, unearthly roar. GANG MEMBER (looks at the Leader): Hey, what was that? VOICE IN THE DARKNESS (booming): It's me, you bunch of dingle dorks! LEADER OF THE GANG (shouts): Come out, show yourself! Out of the darkness steps a guy wearing black boots, a leather jacket and carrying a two by four. MOLLY (excited): It's the Gila Monster! GILA MONSTER (smiles): Yep, it's ME! (counts heads): Hmmmmmm, they's sixteen of you street punks, looks like a fair fight to me! LEADER OF THE GANG (angry): Who are you, toad face? GILA MONSTER (wide grin): I'm the guy who's gonna slap you silly! Saying that, the Gila Monster swings his two by four and smashs the gang's leader in the face, knocking him down in a heap. One of the others yells 'get him' and five of them jump on top of him. DJ (looks at Molly): Shouldn't we help him? EXILE (looks at Molly): Da! Comrade Gila is in deep doggie donuts! MOLLY (shakes head): Nope, he can handle it, just watch! Several gang members fly in the air as the Gila pushes his way back up to a standing position. Two gang members swing chains at him, he lets the chains wrap around his two and four and then pulls back on it with a quick jerk, causing his attackers to land on the other side of the room. One of them pulls out a gun but the Gila uses his tail to slap it out of his hand. Several more gang members try to rush him, but the Gila 'spins' holding his two and four out and knocks every one of them down. In a matter of a miunte, only five gang members are left standing. GANG MEMBER (panting): Hey, Chico! Take this guy out! One of the gang members steps forward, displaying many karate style moves. The Gila Monster just stands there and grins as the man kicks, chops and punchs him. GILA MONSTER (laughs): Hey, that tickles, it's my turn now! In the blink of an eye, the Gila grabs his attacker by his shirt and 'head butts' him, causing him to fall to the floor in a heap. GILA MONSTER (wide grin, motions with a finger): C'mon, you stupid lookin' gooberoos! I'm just gittin warmed up! Who's next? The four remaining gang members flee as the Gila swings his two by four at them. He stands and laughs as he watches them run. MOLLY (smiles): Told you he could take them! GILA MONSTER (turns to the others): Are y'all alright? (picks up a sack off the floor): Hey, them clowns tried to rob you, didn't they? DJ (smiles): They sure did! Thanks for the rescue, buddy! EXILE (smiles): Comrade Gila, you are a sight for sore ears! ALETHIA (rolls eyes): Er....yeah, right! (shakes his hand) That was quite a display of fighting skill! GILA MONSTER (smiles): Shoot, ma'am, it weren't nothin' BOOMERANG (shakes his hand): WOW! That was awesome! Bet you're a real headbanger! GILA MONSTER (nods): Is that a good thing? ABBY (under her breath): Just as intelligent as always... MOLLY (smiles): Hey, I have an idea! Gila, we were all going out for dinner, why don't you join us? ABBY (shocked): Him? VICKI (surprised): The Gila, in a fancy restraunt? LINDA (shocked): That's like displaying the Mona Lisa in an outhouse! GILA MONSTER (confused): Who's this Moaning Lisa, do I know her? VICKI (giggles): He's still as sharp as a marble! ALETHIA (smiles): I think that's a wonderful idea, Molly! DAWN (nods): I agree, the Gila's too kewl! CINDY (smiles): Well, it's alright with me! KRISTINA (claps): Yeah! The more the merrier, right ladies? HOPE (looks at Abby): What do you say, sisters? Vicki, Linda and Abby notice that everyone is staring at them, waiting for their answer. The three look at each other, and then nod. DAWN (happy): Alright! MOLLY (looks outside): Hey, it stopped raining! If we hurry, we can still be on schedule! DJ (opens door): What are we waiting for? Let's go! Soon, all the Rovers have made their way over the wet, puddled streets to the Cafe' Calais restraunt. All of the Rovers are seated at the same table, most of them order steaks but the Gila prime rib and escargo. As the others are eating their salads, the Gila quickly eats the snails. He puts each shell up to his face, sucks the snail out, and tosses the empty shell on his plate. BOOMERANG (looks at the Gila): Whoa, dude! How did you learn to eat snails like that? GILA MONSTER (smiles): I've been eating them all my life, them and ants, slugs, worms, bugs, er..... maybe I better not mention all of this at the dinner table! ABBY (shocked): I don't believe it! The Gila actually stopped talking before grossing everyone out! VICKI (shakes head): Just wait till the entrees arrive, his terrible table manners will really be a riot! LINDA (nods): Yeah, then the others will see what an uncivilized creature he is! Shortly after the others have finished their salads, the servers bring everyone their entrees. The three Maddog sisters stare at the Gila Monster, who, to their complete surprise, is showing excellent table manners. He uses his napkin, uses his knife and fork, and even asks for Dawn to pass the dinner rolls instead of just grabbing them. Each time one of the ladies has to leave the table and then returns, the Gila gets up and pulls their chair out for them. When one of the servers accidently trips and dumps a lobster on the Gila Monster's lap, the three Maddog sisters grinned, thinking that the Gila would hit the guy with his two by four. Instead, the Gila laughs and simply hands the lobster back to the waiter. GILA MONSTER (laughing): I heard y'all had fresh seafood, but this is too fresh, if you ask me! The other Rovers laugh, Abby Vicki and Linda can't believe how charming, polite and well mannered the Gila is acting. Even Boomerang is so impressed that he stops wiping his mouth on the tablecloth and uses his napkin. Even when the desserts are served, the Gila is still being very polite and charming. As the group is leaving the restraunt, they can see out the front window that their limosine has finally arrived in front of the opera house. All of the Rovers get in and are soon headed back to Road Rover Mission Control. The Gila is sitting up front with the chaffeur, since it was so crowded in the back. ALETHIA (looks at Linda): Girls, I don't understand why you didn't invite the Gila Monster to the opera, he was a perfect gentleman at the restraunt! DAWN (nods): He even pulled out my chair for me! HOPE (nods): I agree, he seems to be very well mannered KRISTINA (nods): A great fighter as well as a good guy! CINDY (sternly): Well, he dresses like a hoodlum, but he was very courteous at dinner tonight! DJ (looks at Abby): Well? I'd like to know also! Why didn't you invite him to the opera? MOLLY (smiles): I must admit the Gila was sure on his best behavior tonight! Abby, Linda and Vicki are dumbfounded. They are completely speechless. EXILE (smiles): I LOVE BEING ROAD ROVER! Watch an opera, see a great fight, have a fancy meal, and all in one night! HOPE (smiles): You do have a way with words, Exile! LINDA (whispers to Vicki and Abby): I just don't get it, what has gotten into the Gila? VICKI (whispers to Abby and Linda): Has he finally learned how to behave in public? ABBY (whispers to Linda and Vicki): He didn't even belch ONCE all night! MOLLY (smiles): Well, this is one night at the opera I'll never forget! All of the Rovers nod and then howl in unison. -----------------------------------------------------------------------